Curly hair very fair

“Chubby cheeks, dimple chin, rosy lips teeth within, Curly hair very fair, eyes are blue lovely too, mommy’s pet is that you, yes, yes , yes”, this was my favourite nursery rhyme. With me having chubby cheeks and very curly hair I used to think the poem was written describing me except for the dimple chin which I did not possess. The poem would have been perfect I used to think if it were not for that ‘dimples’ which I envy people for having and the blue eyes which I never liked until Aishwarya Rai became miss world. Over the years however, the chubby cheeks remain no more chubby as they used to be, thanks to my overzealous taste buds; teeth though present inside the mouth have grown rich thanks to the silver and gold patchworks. Thank God, lips remain rosy though and my curls are with me hanging around my head like maggi noodles!
Most of my lady friends like my curls. “How nice your hair stays like a bush”, say some while others say “lucky you, hair loss never appears on curly hair.” Both are true and I was quite happy and proud of my curls in spite of all the pain associated. Oiling my hair was like watering the plants in a desert, if there were any; the oil just vanished requiring at least a quarter litre of oil to make my hair appear oiled. Head bath was a headache, rounds of shampoo, water and conditioners to take the oil, sweat, dirt off my head left my hands aching at the end of the bath; so literally speaking head bath was hands ache. Post head bath was a bigger nightmare. The hair would be spread across in all possible directions as though given an electric shock. With comb getting stuck in knots at almost an inch with every 100 strands of hair, all my preciously stored energy got drained at getting the herculean task of getting all the strands together into a bunch! I still remember the times when I used to be a proud owner of long curly hair and my mother plaited it into two plaits pulling the comb out of knots every morning before going to school and me wailing with ‘aah’s and ‘uhh’s.
I believed in the saying “no pain, no gain” and enjoyed the “wow wow”s about my hair for a long time that is till I got engaged! All my dreams got shattered as soon as I had a honest chat with my fiancé. Having read quite a few romantic novels with always a situation where the hero reveres the lead lady’s curls with a sensuous whisper “Oh! You have such beautiful curls, you must set them loose. ” Alas, romances live only in books and my ‘hero’ had read none of those. My hero said, “Eeee, you have such brush like hair. I always wanted my wife to have long soft straight hair.” I was angry and retorted, “Eeee, I wanted to marry a Greek God who is tall, handsome…..” adding all the items in the list that he did not possess whether I really liked them or otherwise. Tit for tat, but never the less I was disappointed. “So what if he does not like ? Curls is the style in the west and people curl their hair as a fashion and this man is blind to his wife having natural curls . So out –dated” , I consoled myself.
In some survey done, I read that most men preferred long straight hair for their women. My husband was extremely obsessive about hair, long hair , straight hair until a few months back. Something changed him and he now finds curly hair very beautiful, short hair very cute. Little angel of ours has hair which shows signs of curls . I am not sure if Prachi will have curly hair or wavy hair, but surely not straight hair. With she being the apple his eye, my husband inadvertently has changed his views. This reminds me of a story which I had enacted in during my school days. A very beautiful queen of old times is obsessed with her beauty and asks her men to show a person more beautiful than her. Men search all over the world and bring ladies, each prettier than the other. The queen remains unconvinced and keeps the search on. One wise minister, one fine days searches a very beautiful lady and presents her before the queen and says, “Your highness, this lady is undoubtedly prettier than you” for which the queen nods in agreement and rewards the minister. The queen says, ”Oh wise minister, yes this lady surpasses my beauty, my daughter is the most beautiful lady in the whole of universe.” This is the beauty of nature!

Tell me Why?

Disclaimer: This blog is on some ‘why’ questions that popped up in my mind related to the stereotype portrayal of characters/incidents. These is not a set of serious ‘Y’s like Why God is not visible? Or why earth revolves around sun? If you are looking for questions/answers on those fronts please skip this post on trivial ‘Y’s-

· Why are scientists always portrayed as old men with disheveled clothes , Einstein-like hair , and soda-glass kind of spectacles etc? Can’t there be a handsome young scientist; a tip-top , dark-tall-handsome guy as described in the M&B novels with a neatly tucked in shirt and a clean shaved face?
· Why do teachers always have to wear glasses? And further upon a teacher is generally a female and a lecturer generally but not always a male. In either cases both wear spectacles.
· Why do the ads of HR jobs, IT jobs, corporate jobs always have a model-like lady figure in them holding a laptop or a sleek bag with a nicely made up face, delicately manicured/ pedicured nails? Can’t there be people like you and me who are very normal in their looks with average heights, with dark circles around their eyes(off course this shows the amount of sleepless hard-work put) be the role models for the jobs?
· Why does a granny in a bollywood movie always has a secret love story of hers to share? Why are the grandparents (grand dad or grand mom) in favor of some love escapade of his/her grandchild while the parents who in comparison are of newer generation opposing it?
· Why in movies is a lady always screaming with pain during labour? Of what I’ve heard from my mom, aunties and others none of them screamed with such high decibels during their labour and were really silent enduring the pains.
· Why in case of any hospital scene, a handful of doctors and someone runs along with the patient in the stretcher?
· Why is a traffic congestion always present when there is an urgency to reach the hospital/airport etc and on the other hand when the lead lady and lad sing duet absolutely nobody is present in the near vicinity?(Don’t mention the Tamil/Kannada movies where a bunch of yuck dressed fat ladies emerge from nowhere and start gyrating to the beats in the background changing their clothes for every stanza of the song)
· Why does a book worm always have to wear spectacles?
· Why does a detective need to be in a suit and a dirty pair of boots with a cigar in his mouth and a hat on his head?
· Why does a dentist always have to don a white coat and flash his white teeth and always have a couple of toothpastes for making comparison? He looks so sanitized in the attire.
· Why should a writer always be absent minded , lost-in-dreams character? On the contrary these are the people who observe even the minute items!
· Why should a poor man always be virtuous and a rich man vile?
· Why should there always be a ‘too-good-to-be-true’ daughter-in-law and a ‘too-bad-to-be-true’ mother-in-law?
· Why in fairy tales, the youngest sister happens to be the most beautiful, the most decent and helpful creature while all her elder siblings are selfish and bad?
· Why does a instrument player like table/guitar always have to grow his hair long?
· Why does a South-Indian have to speak Hindi with a funny accent?
· Why is that only a house-wife/clerical jobbed husband portrayed to have headache and not the neatly clad corporate lady or suit donned manager or a teeth flashing dentist?
· Why is a faded dirty red towel always present around a coolie’s neck?
· Why does the police force generally reach the crime spot only after the crime is done or after the criminal has surrendered to the hero?
· Why is a techie male shown as a smart guy when in reality most of them are pot bellied or have a receding hair line?

Just think of these characters in your mind and almost within a second you will have the same image as I have stated above. For example, take the example, of a techie itself , you are surrounded by thousands of them , associated with many of them and you are one as well. But instead of finding your irritating colleague with a bad breath or your almost bald headed technical manager or a boy-like fresher chewing the gum like a cow chewing the cud you will only find the image I mentioned above.
Think of the teacher and your primary school teacher who taught you multiplication or the physics teacher who taught you “every action has an equal…..” does not come to your mind; instead a lady clad in starched white saree with little blue flowers in it, a stick in hand and spectacles almost slipping of her nose, contempt on her face and a blackboard in the background is all that come to your mind.
Is it because of the repeated portrayal of the image in the visual medium that your brain is tuned to the image? I must say the best of all the images imprinted in our minds is that of a ghost who we can think of only as a she in a plain white nylon saree and long hair left loose over the shoulders with a candle in her hand and cold eyes that never wink! I do not have to describe the background of the scene, do I?

Language chow-chow

“Naanu outside iddene madam” said my driver today. He had called me to tell that he was unavailable. Nothing significant about it, but what struck me was the word ‘outside’ being used in the sentence and how very out-of-place it was. Me, being a staunch kannadiga (you may call me a regionalist) I absolutely hate English words being introduced forcefully into Kannada. I do agree that language is just a means of communication, but the very thought of infiltrating a language with words from other language (read English) infuriates me. We, people from Mangalore generally speak Kannada less impure, and as we move towards Bangalore the degree of infiltration increases proportionately.
I remember this typical incident when I was doing my B.E in Hassan, a place somewhere midway between Mangalore and Bangalore. Casually I asked a kid of about 5-6 years, “Shaalege hogthiya?” He did not show any signs of answering and looked confused. I asked him, “Kannada barthada?” Kid said, “Howdu”. So this cleared both of my doubts, the kid can hear and understand Kannada as well. I repeated, “Shaalege hogthiya?” The kid looked confused again. Thousand thoughts struck me, Has India reached a state where a kid does not know what is a school? I know of school drop outs but is this kid in such a position that he has not known what a school is? But how can that be possible in 21st century in a place like Hassan? Etc. etc. But the thousand and first thought proved all these were wrong. I rephrased my question, “Schoolige hogthiya?”. Hola, the kid is relieved of the confusion and is all smiles with a jubilant “howdu”. I was happy that all my initial thousand thoughts were wrong but at the same time there remained an irritation just like the remains of a food item stuck in the molars but has to be cleaned off. How is that a word as simple as ‘Shale’ unknown? Every now and then I am asked for time, be at bus stand or while walking on the roads. “Taaime eshtu aaytu”, meaning what is the time. Although I would have preferred a much nice “Gante eshtu aaythu” I still can understand this; but a question like “10 ‘0’ clock aaytha?” is hard to digest.
I am not supporting for a language to be spoken in its purest state. I would find it easy and practical to say a tube light a tube light whether in Kannada, English or Sanskrit than a pure “Dandadeepa”. But “morning milk haakle illa”, “templege hogthene”, “Evening barthene”, “brother buy maadthane”, “mummy cook maadthare”, “vegetablesuuuu, fruitsuuu healthge thumbha useful anthe” are just unacceptable. Why do people have to force English words in the other vernacular languages? Is it to show off one knows English or has it become such a part that inadvertently it gets added into the conversation. Although I like watermelon juice more than moosambi I would not want watermelon juice to be added to my moosambi juice!