"How old are you, Where do you work, and then an appraising look is what I encounter where ever I go", said a friend of mine, an eligible bachelor. Age being the age he is and working in a company known to every literate or may be even illiterate in the country, he is considered to be an ideal 'marriage material'.
In India marriage is considered to be a vital part of a human being and an even more vital responsibility of the parents of that human being. So, irrespective of whether the input (i.e. the marriage candidate) is available (i.e. ready), the process is started. A lady becomes the marriage material as soon as she finishes her immediate studies, generally a bachelor's degree and a man when he attains an age of 25-26 and is in a good enough job. Having gone through that phase, I understand the situation of my friend very well. The society norms being the way it is I very well understand the anxiety of the parents to get their children married; but what I do not understand is the enthusiasm or the excess enthusiasm of the relatives, their relatives, their friends, some uncles, some aunties, so grannies to get an individual married. I am sure they are all well intended but the awkward situations the marriage material undergoes are worth mentioning.
The marriage material goes to a family function, the first thing he/she listens is a comment from an old aunty “The next family function would be your wedding” The marriage material just grins; his explanation that he isn’t interested would only fall on deaf ears, instead it would only raise questioning stares from others. Then he meets an old grandpa who is a distant relative of his mom. “I don’t mind even if I die but I want to see your marriage before that”. Marriage material is confused. Does it mean that the wedding of the marriage material would be such a heart breaking experience for the grandpa that he dies later? Or does it mean the grandpa wants to die with the satisfaction that one more man/woman is bound by the marriage knot? (Only that the old grandpa doesn’t die contently after the marriage but would only have more demands awaiting about kids, house etc).
Then a helpful aunty approaches the marriage material’s mom, “You know, there is this lady who has just finished her graduation in xxx. She is from very good family yyy. I saw her during the wedding of Mr X’s son last week. She is really pretty and is working as well. I think she is ideal for your son”, and looks appraisingly at the marriage material. The marriage material just widens his lips for the sake of courtesy. The helpful aunty doesn’t stop there; now she targets directly at the marriage material, “What kind of girl do you want?”, “Do you want a working girl? Or do you prefer a house wife?” “Do you want a fair one?” “Oh, you want one with lovely black hair?”(As though it is a market from which you can bargain and pick out the best one out as per your choices). Indians are generally not very open about their marriage and hence the marriage material just keeps mum only flashing his teeth. The story doesn’t end here. The helpful aunty suddenly realizes something and drags the marriage material aside. She now thinks of being a confidante and whispers into the ears of the marriage candidate, “Are you in love with someone?” Even before the marriage material confirms or declines it, she says “Which caste is she?” The marriage material tries to replies something which never comes out of his mouth. Aunty continues “No, you don’t worry. I will tell your parents. You are afraid to tell them, aren’t you?” Realizing that no sound came out of his mouth last time, the marriage material now tries to nod his head and refuse it. He is unsuccessful in this attempt as well, for the helpful aunty is now holding is head and mischievously telling him “Oh oh you naughty boy!!! You hiding things from you dear aunty! Look how I found it out?!! Do not worry, I will speak to your mama, papa”. Then comes the next character, the helpful aunt’s helpful husband sweating profusely after the heavy lunch, bringing along with him an odour which one can imagine to be a combination of the spices in the lunch he had, sweat, cigarette smoke and the sweet he has just gobbled. Having got to know the things from his wife, the helpful uncle hugs the marriage material now and says “Oh lover boy!!!...Who is the lucky lady?? mmmm? You know, when I was in the college there was this pretty lady……I will help you in every way” The marriage material only struggles to free himself from the helpful hug of the helpful uncle only wishing “I just hope he helps me get out of this sweaty hug”
I always used to remember a joke I had read somewhere and provided it as a suggestion to my friend. The joke is about a young man like our marriage material who always meets this old aunty during wedding occasions in the family. The old aunty always asks him “Mmmm…When is your turn dear boy?” Having got to heard this a dozen times the young man is fed up and waits for an opportunity to give it back. As usual he meets the old aunty at a ceremony, but this time a funeral occasion. He decides to avenge on her, goes to her and asks “Mmmm… When is your turn dear aunty?” Next time the old aunty doesn’t haunt him with her old question.
If you are a marriage material and are facing these situations, you might want to try this…but at your own risk.
In India marriage is considered to be a vital part of a human being and an even more vital responsibility of the parents of that human being. So, irrespective of whether the input (i.e. the marriage candidate) is available (i.e. ready), the process is started. A lady becomes the marriage material as soon as she finishes her immediate studies, generally a bachelor's degree and a man when he attains an age of 25-26 and is in a good enough job. Having gone through that phase, I understand the situation of my friend very well. The society norms being the way it is I very well understand the anxiety of the parents to get their children married; but what I do not understand is the enthusiasm or the excess enthusiasm of the relatives, their relatives, their friends, some uncles, some aunties, so grannies to get an individual married. I am sure they are all well intended but the awkward situations the marriage material undergoes are worth mentioning.
The marriage material goes to a family function, the first thing he/she listens is a comment from an old aunty “The next family function would be your wedding” The marriage material just grins; his explanation that he isn’t interested would only fall on deaf ears, instead it would only raise questioning stares from others. Then he meets an old grandpa who is a distant relative of his mom. “I don’t mind even if I die but I want to see your marriage before that”. Marriage material is confused. Does it mean that the wedding of the marriage material would be such a heart breaking experience for the grandpa that he dies later? Or does it mean the grandpa wants to die with the satisfaction that one more man/woman is bound by the marriage knot? (Only that the old grandpa doesn’t die contently after the marriage but would only have more demands awaiting about kids, house etc).
Then a helpful aunty approaches the marriage material’s mom, “You know, there is this lady who has just finished her graduation in xxx. She is from very good family yyy. I saw her during the wedding of Mr X’s son last week. She is really pretty and is working as well. I think she is ideal for your son”, and looks appraisingly at the marriage material. The marriage material just widens his lips for the sake of courtesy. The helpful aunty doesn’t stop there; now she targets directly at the marriage material, “What kind of girl do you want?”, “Do you want a working girl? Or do you prefer a house wife?” “Do you want a fair one?” “Oh, you want one with lovely black hair?”(As though it is a market from which you can bargain and pick out the best one out as per your choices). Indians are generally not very open about their marriage and hence the marriage material just keeps mum only flashing his teeth. The story doesn’t end here. The helpful aunty suddenly realizes something and drags the marriage material aside. She now thinks of being a confidante and whispers into the ears of the marriage candidate, “Are you in love with someone?” Even before the marriage material confirms or declines it, she says “Which caste is she?” The marriage material tries to replies something which never comes out of his mouth. Aunty continues “No, you don’t worry. I will tell your parents. You are afraid to tell them, aren’t you?” Realizing that no sound came out of his mouth last time, the marriage material now tries to nod his head and refuse it. He is unsuccessful in this attempt as well, for the helpful aunty is now holding is head and mischievously telling him “Oh oh you naughty boy!!! You hiding things from you dear aunty! Look how I found it out?!! Do not worry, I will speak to your mama, papa”. Then comes the next character, the helpful aunt’s helpful husband sweating profusely after the heavy lunch, bringing along with him an odour which one can imagine to be a combination of the spices in the lunch he had, sweat, cigarette smoke and the sweet he has just gobbled. Having got to know the things from his wife, the helpful uncle hugs the marriage material now and says “Oh lover boy!!!...Who is the lucky lady?? mmmm? You know, when I was in the college there was this pretty lady……I will help you in every way” The marriage material only struggles to free himself from the helpful hug of the helpful uncle only wishing “I just hope he helps me get out of this sweaty hug”
I always used to remember a joke I had read somewhere and provided it as a suggestion to my friend. The joke is about a young man like our marriage material who always meets this old aunty during wedding occasions in the family. The old aunty always asks him “Mmmm…When is your turn dear boy?” Having got to heard this a dozen times the young man is fed up and waits for an opportunity to give it back. As usual he meets the old aunty at a ceremony, but this time a funeral occasion. He decides to avenge on her, goes to her and asks “Mmmm… When is your turn dear aunty?” Next time the old aunty doesn’t haunt him with her old question.
If you are a marriage material and are facing these situations, you might want to try this…but at your own risk.
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